June 8th

[Deleted]

Gives us something to debate and look forward to during the close season

[Deleted]

There isn't a match that day. What are you on about?

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Game on!

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Apr 18, 2017 18:16:11 GMT sennockian69 said:

There isn't a match that day. What are you on about?

Whipwhipwhipwhipperdywhipperdywhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh

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I think the Blues will beat the Reds but it will be a lot closer than what the newspapers are saying.The Blues have spent big with new signings like Andrew Marr and Laura Kuenssberg having a major say on the result.

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The reds manager is a dunderheaded mugwump who uses a Zimmer frame. The blues manager looks like she should be running a parish council. The orange manager believes the Queen Anne is a sinful den of iniquity. The purple manager single handedly saved dozens of lives at a football tragedy.

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Apr 30, 2017 19:54:11 GMT Benny said:

The reds manager is a dunderheaded mugwump who uses a Zimmer frame. The blues manager looks like she should be running a parish council. The orange manager believes the Queen Anne is a sinful den of iniquity. The purple manager single handedly saved dozens of lives at a football tragedy.

There's also the Green Manager who believes in going back to basics but she doesn't have much of a team to manage. Then there's the fearsome Yellow Manager from north of the border who wants to form a new division.

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As we all know the big match on the 8th June is a replay caused by the Blues having broken financial fair play rules and consequently fielding 24 ineligible players to gain victory in the previous match.So have the Blues learned anything from their previous managers cheating and fall from grace over the 'Sex with a Pig Scandal '?.We shall see one way or another.

[stainese]

Do the victors still qualify for Europe or are they out of it now?

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May 1, 2017 11:01:24 GMT stainese said:

Do the victors still qualify for Europe or are they out of it now?

Afraid not.No european qualifying now,but if the Blues win we might see some involvement with Liechtenstein,Cayman Islands and Bermuda.

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Someone suggested a merger between the reds, greens and oranges to be called Progressives United, but it was called off when it was likened to not trying and match fixing.

[Deleted]

In other news:

The Blues have sold their brand new, state-of-the-art, international standard, stadium and are returning to their old 50's built ground, complete with its condemned wooden main stand (but with masses of uncovered terracing and inadequate toilets to keep the fans happy). Unfortunately, they are only just realising that this is going to cost them a fortune and they won't be allowed to play in Europe afterwards. Also, they have entirely forgotten that their old ground was actually knocked down in the 80s and redeveloped as a BHS superstore.

The Reds meanwhile are happy in their derelict old inner-city Northern 'stadium', still dreaming of the days when it resounded to the chants of 80,000 good, solid young working men, fresh from their wholesome factory jobs - and when they won the first League and Cup double in 1897.

The Yellows are still recovering from their disastrous decision to sell their old ground ("too small for League standard football") and ground-share with the Blues ("Saturdays are bit busy, chap, OK if your lot play Thursday evenings?"), and are now playing at county league ground 30 miles from home, in front of 314 fans. Athough they still dream of greater things to come, especially if they can hang on to their young academy striker Simon Brexwit.

Having failed in their bid to escape South-East London, the Purples are now shut up in their soulless new ground, playing 5-aside amongst themselves and sadly chanting "no one likes us, we don't care" to 10,000 empty seats. Whilst their old manager is rumoured to be negotiating a highly lucrative job with Tampa Bay Bigots, their current manager is locked in his office, dreaming of the day he single-handedly rescued 25 eternally grateful nubile young girls from a devastating fire in some northern ground he can't quite remember the name of.

And over the border, the new Scots manager is gathering the clans and fantasising about Saltire scarves and English crossbars, as she determinedly insists that the old Anglo-Scots derbies must be reinstated.

I was going to go on about the Greens hoping to build a new sustainable, all-vegan, ground miles from anywhere, despite the fact that they've only got 314 fans, and never actually manage to win anything. But I thought this was taking silly parody just too far...

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So the reds manager Danny Abbott gave a terrible interview in which he said they were going to recruit 10,000 new stewards to police the stadium at a cost of £300,000. When questioned on the figures, he admitted the true cost might be £80,000,000, but moments later said it would actually be 25,000 stewards. Sounding somewhat confused, Danny Abbott said that in fact there would be 250,000 stewards costing £64.3 million. When questioned he said the interviewer had just made up the numbers, which were actually now between 2,000 and 2,250 stewards costing £298 million. Wibble.

[Deleted]

Do we really need so many stewards? Just get them to work properly. Maybe improved training would help.

[Deleted]

Looks like the reds have just been thrashed 5-1 in a pre-season match. The manager declared it a stunning victory.